Pedro Walpole SJ
To talk of feelings is to embark on a process of discussion that begins with learning to listen to self and others, identifying roots and roles among the people around, and exploring stories of belonging, before experiencing hope and faith while managing expectations.
Responding to the challenges of life (being sad, peaceful, powerful, angry, scared, and joyful), one needs to reflect on core feelings, develop emotional intelligence, and be free to make choices.
In a group of youth, there is a need for shared trust in expressing feelings, frustrations, concerns, hopes, and dreams. In doing so, greater attention and ease of acceptance can be given in praying with feelings and recognizing the self with feelings that are important.
One may feel very sad at times and may overwhelm for long periods when there is no desire to care about anything, including one’s self. Listening to where the sadness is coming from, there may be a deep feeling of being guilty, ashamed, or depressed, and also being lonely, bored, or tired.
All of these feelings can cluster under sadness, but if discerned more as to what this feeling is, the response is easier managed, the feeling can be accepted, and a more thoughtful response channeled to those in proximity.
When feeling guilty, ashamed, or depressed, the outward expression might be an acknowledgement of simply being remorseful, or feeling stupid or inferior. When experiencing loneliness, boredom, or tiredness, these might express isolation, apathy, or sleepiness.
Acknowledging feelings, responding, and moving on: Using the Feeling Wheel
There are various charts that can be used to group human emotions, but a basic Feeling Wheel (also referred to as the Feelings Wheel) was developed in 1982 by Dr Gloria Wilcox in the US and used as a tool to help people, especially teens and adults, learn to recognize and communicate their feelings.
The unique circular design allows users to better understand and explain emotions by navigating and exploring feelings. One can then move from broader categories to more specific emotions, and thus foster emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and effective communication. (See The Feeling Wheel: A tool for expanding awareness of emotions and increasing spontaneity and intimacy)
The Feeling Wheel illustrates how complex and creative the feeling can be in trying to understand responses. There is usually a core of five to six emotions, but if the overlaps experienced at times are viewed more carefully, there is a whole diversity of feelings in the second circle as illustrated. These in turn can give way to a range of outward responses and expressions that give much greater choice than the core reactions when reflected upon.
All of these words on the Feeling Wheel need cautious exploration in one’s language and culture of living. The words may be interchanged to recognize and adapt to unique expressions or relational implications.
Emotions are whole-body signals that are accepted and not labeled as good or bad. One needs to listen and accept emotions so that these do not dominate or determine choices, and this includes recognizing the emotion, choosing a response, and thus avoid worsening the situation.
Recognizing the emotion and how the reaction may affect others negatively allow the selection of a response that can more effectively interact with others and avoid escalating the problem. In being aware of these emotions without judging self and also being reflective in identifying the feeling, the response or action can shift without denying the feeling. Accepting and choosing to respond helps seek the balance in relations more easily, without blocking the context and creating a rigid problem that can destabilize relations.
All these may need different tools to calm one’s self, to take time to be mindful of the larger context and enable others to also possibly change, or to work slowly with others to overcome frustrations.
This exercise can provide a new way to explore the self and how to communicate and not to focus on who is right or wrong. Stress is also reduced and gives way to a healthier mindset and to build resilience.
Each of these core feelings can be visualized branching out as further expressions in the other circles. Going beyond the core feeling and nuancing the diversity of feelings can be a context where others can listen and share their experiences so that one is not walled in with just one feeling.
The other core emotions can also be checked to find a way out. Sadness for example can allow for some peace, and other moments of gratitude, hope or thoughtful expressions for others can help loosen the feeling. In processing emotions, one can go beyond the present and shift the context.
For those based in the city, there may be occasions to visit home and can be very important in balancing the different feelings and trusting others by sharing experiences.
There is the family one can reach out to and the neighbors to appreciate in a new way. There are the activities where contributions to conversations and sharing of experiences can allow for greater understanding, focusing on wellbeing and lessons learned.
Supporting efforts to gather and joining small group projects or clean-ups bring people together easily for social interaction, as well as visiting those who are less able to move around to have quiet brief chats with and thank their presence.
Thoughts and feelings shared during the session
This learning session for Indigenous youth went through a process starting with Eneriza Menaling from the Pulangiyēn community in the Philippines offering a prayer from the acknowledged land of the Pulangiyēn People, and with all acknowledging as well their own lands before the Creator. After the brief self-introductions, the Feelings Wheel was introduced and participants were asked to reflect on what were considered while listening to the inputs on feelings.
Towards the end, there was a sense of gratitude identified and also being happy, tired, and stressed. Different feelings were shared as to where the participants were in this journey as Indigenous youth, and a context of listening of four areas emerged:
- The need for time for family concerns and one’s health
- The loss of the value of being connected to culture and feelings of spiritual connectivity
- The concerns on materialism, waste management, destruction, among others
- The hope in the youth, coming together, textbook development, and possibilities of change
The participants need to continue the sharing in a context of reflection, dignity, solidarity, gratitude, and commitment. There is a challenge to understand the concerns shared that connect with a changing world, while knowing where one is and being able to hold one’s peace and include others. It is not about solving problems. Personal stories of commitment of self and those around, as well as the lands and sea, can then be listened to and shared. Writing up a page on “Who I am” and “My sense of belonging” can help the process of growing in emotional intelligence and continuing the broader process of journeying together.
Pedro Walpole SJ, Coordinator of the River Above Asia Oceania Ecclesial Network (RAOEN) provided inputs for the first session of the Indigenous Youth Learning Journey to COP31, held on 15 August 2026. RAOEN offers these sessions as a series of online learning activities in preparation for COP31 in November 2026.
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